The spaces in between
Sep. 24th, 2010 02:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j_gabrielleFic: The spaces in between
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: SiHanChul!broken, SiChul, HanHyuk
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: They own themselves, and I own merchandises.
Sometimes it gets a little crowded. After all, 3 is a crowd, right? Sometimes someone gets left out. But no one ever says a word. And most of the time, it's Hankyung.
It seems logical really, that it would be him. The foreigner. Chinaman. The one who doesn't fully comprehend the things said in the heat of passion. Unlike Heechul when he catches them starting something without him, he doesn't scream or throw a fit, neither does he mope and cast kicked puppy looks at the people around him. No. Instead, he merely retreats to the common rooms of the apartment, finding a spot in front of their windows and staying there watching the blinking lights of the city.
Sometimes...
Sometimes they see. They catch-on, and they try (and how they try!) to make him feel better, wanted, belonging. But how does one feel all those things when even while they touch you, kiss you, feel you, fill you, that they are still making love to each other? That the body in between them, the one they are pleasuring is somehow there for them to consummate by proxy.
And Hankyung isn't stupid. He knows that while they make the effort to make him feel needed, he's forever the boy outside the locked candy shop looking in.
So he says nothing. Merely smiles softly, cooks Beijing Fried Rice and dances up a storm. He cuddles his dongsaengs, respects his elders, takes care of everyone. He takes what he can get from the other two and numbs himself to what he can't.
"You've got to stop this. It's not healthy." It's like a scene out of those movies, where the hero and the sidekick is looking out over the city. He's been in this place for almost 10 years and he still... Feels soo much in awe of the tendrils of life that bursts out and reaches to him. Hyukjae is leaning against the railing, eyes trained upon the clouds above. "Sometimes... Letting go is the best option."
"I can't give them up... Not that easily. They're like..." For all the distance they have in public, it's always this monkey that Hankyung goes to when he just needs another human being.
"Drugs? An habit you can't kick? Trust me. This is Super Junior. There's always a habit we all can't kick." Hyukjae says, as if talking about the weather. There's no need for evasive words apparently.
That brought a twitch to the Chinese's lips."Why do you care anyways?" A pause. "I hope... You never have to feel... What I feel now. For the sake of your sanity."
"God! I wish! I think you'd find yourself a little too late on that part..." He scoffs bitterly, grinning as he slips an arm around Hankyung's torso. "But it's ok right? We can be broken men together right?" He sounds soo hopeful, it made Hankyung wish he could utilize the skills he has on people who have hurt this kid who deserves nothing short of happiness in a bottle.
Together they stand there till Leeteuk finds them and drags them back inside, ushering them to bed.
Siwon. Hankyung. Heechul.
Sihanchul.
The perfect threesome. But not always so. Not when you were the one in it. Not when you were the one who never really belonged in the triangle.
"Let's just run away." Hyukjae says one day. They'd just ditched the managers and the others, jumping into his car and driving fast on the freeway. It's a nice August afternoon, the warmth of the sun filling the interior of the car and the sound of wind and laughter being their soundtrack. Hyukjae is driving with on hand on the wheel and and the other on the gear. They'd been laughing their asses off like they were doing laughing gases again when he suddenly said it. Hankyung looks over and catches his eye. "Let's just leave. Let's just go."
That's how they end up in a guest house, and though they have enough to get themselves separate rooms, they choose the one that has windows that open up to views of the mountain. They have no bags, no change of clothes between them.
Maybe it's the Makgeolli that they had with the owner of the place, buzzing through his veins and blurring the edges of his mind. There's a small little part of him that tells him not to do this. That this is Hyukjae, his dongsaeng, the adorable anchovy, monkey, man-child of the group. That this is the man who still hurts just like him. It almost makes him stop then, but Hyukjae throws him this look that says, 'Stop thinking and please just get on with it!'and grinds up against his groin and he throws everything out the window.
The darkness hid their imperfections and as they undressed each other slowly and slid under the covers together, they used only their touches, breaths and gasps to speak in the silence of the room. To say Hyukjae was beautiful is an understatement. He's... just Hyukjae. Perfect the way his imperfections make him. The way he feels under him, the way he sounds is soo unlike Siwon or Heechul. The way he touches is fleeting and lingering at the same time. The way he burns when he enters Hyukjae inch by inch and it takes his entire self control to not fuck him into the mattress, make him scream his name, bruise his lips with his teeth, leave marks for the world to see.
The high comes too soon, and Hyukjae actually sounds disappointed when he tells him that he's coming. Hankyung kisses the moans from him. For a second before he falls asleep with him curled around him like a blanket of warmth and fire, he thinks he could actually spend a lifetime learning him.
He dreams that night. That he is in the candy store and it had been magical.
"Where are you?" Jungsu sounds tired when he picks up his call in the early grey light of dawn, sitting out on the steps while Hyukjae sits with his back to him between his legs. Soft lips are touching the knobs of his knuckles, hands stroking his calf as he speaks.
"Somewhere. Not too sure." A pause, "Are we going to be in trouble?"
"Just get back by sundown today okay?" He hears the leader speak, sighing. Jungsu knows too much for his own good. Sometimes it's good, and other times... not so. Especially times like now.
"Hyung..."
"Mhmm?"
"Thanks."
Hyukjae drives slowly this time. Hankyung almost wonders where did the speed demon he was with yesterday gone off to when he remembers their destination.
"Stop here." He says after awhile. Hyukjae obeys, turning and parking the car by the side of the road. "Hyuk-ah, what's wrong?" He begins.
The Chinese watches as the younger man opens and closes his mouth, troubled in his attempts to speak. "Last night. What did it mean? For you... For me. Us?" His brown eyes are blown wide and he's biting down on his bottom lip. Worry He reads Longing , Fear . Hankyung doesn't answer; merely leans over and cups his cheeks and draws him in for a kiss.
"It means that maybe it's time broken men tried to patch each other up."
A/N: Forgive me. It's 0214 in the morning. My flight is in less than a day and a half and I have a million things to do. I haven't packed. I'm high on caffeine and all I wanna do is crash. All mistakes made are mine. Reviews please? I love reviews :)
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: SiHanChul!broken, SiChul, HanHyuk
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: They own themselves, and I own merchandises.
Sometimes it gets a little crowded. After all, 3 is a crowd, right? Sometimes someone gets left out. But no one ever says a word. And most of the time, it's Hankyung.
It seems logical really, that it would be him. The foreigner. Chinaman. The one who doesn't fully comprehend the things said in the heat of passion. Unlike Heechul when he catches them starting something without him, he doesn't scream or throw a fit, neither does he mope and cast kicked puppy looks at the people around him. No. Instead, he merely retreats to the common rooms of the apartment, finding a spot in front of their windows and staying there watching the blinking lights of the city.
Sometimes...
Sometimes they see. They catch-on, and they try (and how they try!) to make him feel better, wanted, belonging. But how does one feel all those things when even while they touch you, kiss you, feel you, fill you, that they are still making love to each other? That the body in between them, the one they are pleasuring is somehow there for them to consummate by proxy.
And Hankyung isn't stupid. He knows that while they make the effort to make him feel needed, he's forever the boy outside the locked candy shop looking in.
So he says nothing. Merely smiles softly, cooks Beijing Fried Rice and dances up a storm. He cuddles his dongsaengs, respects his elders, takes care of everyone. He takes what he can get from the other two and numbs himself to what he can't.
"You've got to stop this. It's not healthy." It's like a scene out of those movies, where the hero and the sidekick is looking out over the city. He's been in this place for almost 10 years and he still... Feels soo much in awe of the tendrils of life that bursts out and reaches to him. Hyukjae is leaning against the railing, eyes trained upon the clouds above. "Sometimes... Letting go is the best option."
"I can't give them up... Not that easily. They're like..." For all the distance they have in public, it's always this monkey that Hankyung goes to when he just needs another human being.
"Drugs? An habit you can't kick? Trust me. This is Super Junior. There's always a habit we all can't kick." Hyukjae says, as if talking about the weather. There's no need for evasive words apparently.
That brought a twitch to the Chinese's lips."Why do you care anyways?" A pause. "I hope... You never have to feel... What I feel now. For the sake of your sanity."
"God! I wish! I think you'd find yourself a little too late on that part..." He scoffs bitterly, grinning as he slips an arm around Hankyung's torso. "But it's ok right? We can be broken men together right?" He sounds soo hopeful, it made Hankyung wish he could utilize the skills he has on people who have hurt this kid who deserves nothing short of happiness in a bottle.
Together they stand there till Leeteuk finds them and drags them back inside, ushering them to bed.
Siwon. Hankyung. Heechul.
Sihanchul.
The perfect threesome. But not always so. Not when you were the one in it. Not when you were the one who never really belonged in the triangle.
"Let's just run away." Hyukjae says one day. They'd just ditched the managers and the others, jumping into his car and driving fast on the freeway. It's a nice August afternoon, the warmth of the sun filling the interior of the car and the sound of wind and laughter being their soundtrack. Hyukjae is driving with on hand on the wheel and and the other on the gear. They'd been laughing their asses off like they were doing laughing gases again when he suddenly said it. Hankyung looks over and catches his eye. "Let's just leave. Let's just go."
That's how they end up in a guest house, and though they have enough to get themselves separate rooms, they choose the one that has windows that open up to views of the mountain. They have no bags, no change of clothes between them.
Maybe it's the Makgeolli that they had with the owner of the place, buzzing through his veins and blurring the edges of his mind. There's a small little part of him that tells him not to do this. That this is Hyukjae, his dongsaeng, the adorable anchovy, monkey, man-child of the group. That this is the man who still hurts just like him. It almost makes him stop then, but Hyukjae throws him this look that says, 'Stop thinking and please just get on with it!'and grinds up against his groin and he throws everything out the window.
The darkness hid their imperfections and as they undressed each other slowly and slid under the covers together, they used only their touches, breaths and gasps to speak in the silence of the room. To say Hyukjae was beautiful is an understatement. He's... just Hyukjae. Perfect the way his imperfections make him. The way he feels under him, the way he sounds is soo unlike Siwon or Heechul. The way he touches is fleeting and lingering at the same time. The way he burns when he enters Hyukjae inch by inch and it takes his entire self control to not fuck him into the mattress, make him scream his name, bruise his lips with his teeth, leave marks for the world to see.
The high comes too soon, and Hyukjae actually sounds disappointed when he tells him that he's coming. Hankyung kisses the moans from him. For a second before he falls asleep with him curled around him like a blanket of warmth and fire, he thinks he could actually spend a lifetime learning him.
He dreams that night. That he is in the candy store and it had been magical.
"Where are you?" Jungsu sounds tired when he picks up his call in the early grey light of dawn, sitting out on the steps while Hyukjae sits with his back to him between his legs. Soft lips are touching the knobs of his knuckles, hands stroking his calf as he speaks.
"Somewhere. Not too sure." A pause, "Are we going to be in trouble?"
"Just get back by sundown today okay?" He hears the leader speak, sighing. Jungsu knows too much for his own good. Sometimes it's good, and other times... not so. Especially times like now.
"Hyung..."
"Mhmm?"
"Thanks."
Hyukjae drives slowly this time. Hankyung almost wonders where did the speed demon he was with yesterday gone off to when he remembers their destination.
"Stop here." He says after awhile. Hyukjae obeys, turning and parking the car by the side of the road. "Hyuk-ah, what's wrong?" He begins.
The Chinese watches as the younger man opens and closes his mouth, troubled in his attempts to speak. "Last night. What did it mean? For you... For me. Us?" His brown eyes are blown wide and he's biting down on his bottom lip. Worry He reads Longing , Fear . Hankyung doesn't answer; merely leans over and cups his cheeks and draws him in for a kiss.
"It means that maybe it's time broken men tried to patch each other up."
A/N: Forgive me. It's 0214 in the morning. My flight is in less than a day and a half and I have a million things to do. I haven't packed. I'm high on caffeine and all I wanna do is crash. All mistakes made are mine. Reviews please? I love reviews :)
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 06:47 am (UTC)you pictured hankyung's feeling very well.i know that feeling of being left out... felt alien...
anyway.nice ending,although i don't understand a little part about hyukjae. is he a brokenhearted man also in here? *just curious*
thanks for writing.<3 you
no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 06:59 am (UTC)/goes slink off into the corner
I left the part about Hyuk being a brokenhearted man an open-ended thing because he could be broken over Donghae, or some other random persons. I didn't want to name anyone, so as to not constrain what people who read this might work our or imagine of it. It's purely a selfish reason, really. Because maybe I might catch a bunny and write another piece based on this.
Just maybe... :D *cross fingers* Thanks for reading and commenting!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:05 am (UTC)~FM :)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:20 am (UTC)P.S/ keep your fingers cross for some plot bunnies to come my way, 'k? ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:23 am (UTC)~FM :)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-26 05:15 pm (UTC)but anyway I'm glad I did
I love SiHanChul though you have no idea how much I hate threesomes
I find them so good together & somehow so tragic too
for me, it feels like Siwon is the one who's likelier to be left out (HanChul bond si so/too strong) but here it's Geng who feels like the "optional" element of the tirangle
it was good & well written
I like it though HanHyuk isn't a pairing I particularily ship (can't help the Eunhae shipper in me haha!) but don't mind me
it's a very good fic
thank you ^^
no subject
Date: 2011-02-27 05:26 pm (UTC)I'm glad the feeling of Geng being the 'optional' end of the triangle, so to speak, came through to you. I agree. Siwon seems more likelier the choice of the role, but I wanted to try writing Geng and see what happens. Ah~ EunHae. As I've said earlier, I don't really do established pairings (unless of course the plot bunnies demand it) because rare pairings are such fun to write! :D Thanks for commenting! I hope you'll look out for more of my stuff in the future. /bows/
no subject
Date: 2011-02-28 12:09 pm (UTC)I'm an ultimate Eunhae shipper then KyuMin is my 2nd OTP, I like KangTeuk & YeWook too
but I don't mind other "combinations" & rare pairings, I even ship SiHae despite my obvious Eunhae bias...
as I told you I really hate threesomes but for some reason, in my mind, SiHanChul come all together, I adore them like this & I can't bring myself to make them just HanChul, SiChul or SiHan. they might be extravagant but deep down they make beautiful angst...
oh don't worry, I'm totally convinced by what you wrote here. I can imagine Geng feeling as a stranger, as the one who makes it a "crowd" & as the one who should step back & leave...it was well written thus convincing...
I also like how you didn't mention who broke Hyuk's heart, we can let our imagination do that for us, it might be Hae, it might be someone esle, the mysterious heartbreaker is a good idea...
of course I'll make sure to read more of your works because I really like your style. besides, I'm open to almost all pairings so yeah ^^
Спасибо за инфу
Date: 2012-01-31 09:17 am (UTC)Супер блог!
Date: 2012-02-12 06:35 am (UTC)